Lessons From a Tortoise

Slow and steady wins the race. That's what the tortoise said, right? Well, we are learning first hand how true that is. I would call today a good day. Slow progress, but progress. Less anxiety, but still some. Less struggle in breathing, but still some. Your nurse David said, "I don't want to be negative, just realistic. This is going to be a long road. And the slower you go the better it will be". I can see the truth in that. I don't want any drama and it seems that drama comes when things happen too fast. So, I can do slow. I was talking with Aunt Ali today and she gently brought up Christmas and the possibility that we might be here on Christmas. I haven't wanted to think that far ahead, but the truth is, it's not that far away and you still have a long road. We might still be here. Santa comes in on Christmas morning. We will have Lance and Olivia come here and celebrate. Ali said that Doernbecher's is such a special place that Santa saves it for his last stop. The big kids will think that's pretty cool. Santa will probably freak you out :) It's alright, he used to freak me out too.
I came in pretty late today. I got to go to Olivia's classroom today. She had a little presentation in her class and asked that I come. It felt good to be able to give her a little time. While in the classroom I saw the lyrics of a well known song.

"What a Wonderful World"

I see tress of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, and dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of the people going by
I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do
They're really saying, I love you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Yes I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I find myself being more appreciative of this world. Kind of hard to explain. Although, this is a terrible and hard thing it makes me appreciate what I do have. I have you. Since we have been in the ICU, some parents haven't been so lucky. Yes, you are sick. Yes, you do have a long road ahead, that won't be easy. Yes, this really sucks. But you are here. We get to go through this awfulness together. I am so grateful for our little family. This will be just a blink in the whole scheme of things. And then we will still be together, forever. It always could be worse. Let's remember that. There is always someone out there that has it worse than us. And just think, maybe you could be the person that helps make it better for someone else. You seem like that kind of kid. Just by smiling at someone or holding the door open or taking the time to listen. You can make someone's burden a little lighter. What a wonderful opportunity. I know I have been a recipient of that kindness. Everyone in this ICU is that way. Smiles, words of encouragement, hugs, care. All of our friends, family, and neighbors offer anything and everything they have to make our burden lighter. And it works. Just offering is enough to make a difference. Just knowing people care makes the burden lift. So, let's pay it forward, little man. Don't be afraid. What have you got to lose? Be bold, be sensitive, be loving. That is what this world needs. Slow down. Remember the tortoise. You can win by taking time to enjoy the ride and learn from the experience.
I love you! I am so proud of the little man that you are. I am so deeply grateful to be your mother. Keep up the good work!