Keep Moving Forward. I found myself repeating that in my mind yesterday. It is what all the doctors and nurses are looking for, and me too. Progress. Hope. You getting better. I had a vision of you being all better and I can't fully describe the feelings I imagined I would feel. Jubilation? Relief? Immense gratitude. So that is where we are moving forward to.
I stayed at the hospital last night, while Daddy went home to sleep. Not much sleep. But I asked a lot of questions and I feel like I am kind of getting it. I watch your "numbers" on the screen and I know where you should be. Okay, so here are some things I heard about you and all this.
- the surgeon said he has never seen this sort of thing before. He is an experienced surgeon and is perplexed by you :) Way to be different! And they still don't know why your small intestine died and perforated.
- I looked up small intestine on Wikipedia and here is some more info:
The small intestine is divided into three structural parts: ..
Friday they removed 10 cm of your Ileum. On Sunday they removed about 8 cm of your uppermost jejunum. As you can see, you have plenty of both of those to spare. They have no worries about you having enough intestine.
- you are still considered acutely ill. But you are doing all that they expect you to do.
You are scheduled for surgery later this afternoon. . . around 3 or 4pm. They are hoping to close you up. Prayers for that! It has been surgery every other day for you, let's cut back on that, okay, my little darling. I think OJ and LB are coming after school today. I miss them, they miss you. I miss you! I look at you in that bed and I can't see you. I see a sick little body, but it is not my William. I want to see you. I want to see those bright, blue, dancing eyes! I want those eyes to look at my like they used to and say "Mommy, you are such a good Mommy!" You know you used to say that to me with your eyes. From the day you were born you have given me a deep sense of confidence as a Mother. Your eyes and spirit have always expressed to me that I'm "doing alright" maybe even better than that. Maybe you were born with the gift of sharing our Father in Heaven's love with others. I can say that this ICU room is jam packed with Heavenly Father's love. How else am I doing this? There would be no other way. Thank you, little man, for being you, wonderful you. We can do this, we will do this! I LOVE YOU! Fight, fight, fight, fight! I will be here waiting. Waiting to see those eyes again, and catch another glimpse into Heaven!
Thank you Besty for letting us in and helping us understand. We are all praying right along side you and have high hopes and wonderful gratitude for a chance to be a part of your lives. William is a strong little man and we love you!!!!
ReplyDeleteBetsy, It has been so long since I've talked to you. I don't get on facebook very often, but I'm glad I did today. I am so sorry for you in this time of trial. I am nearly to tears myself. I wish you and your family the best, and hope your little William gets better soon. Love you.
ReplyDeleteRobin Maniar
I love Will's eyes too they are just so special I can see what you are talking about. I had a friend who's daughter was hospitalized for quite some time and she just kept telling herself- "I can do hard things" I know it helped her a lot and it helps me too even though my hard things done compare. YOU CAN DO THEM! Keep fighting, keep your faith.
ReplyDeleteI love you!
We're praying for him. Poor guy.
ReplyDeleteOh Betsy, you are all in my prayers. Thanks for keeping us updated. I wish we could be there to help. Keep the faith, I know Heavenly Father knows you and your family and is there to help and comfort. Love you all.
ReplyDeletebetsy, what a beautiful post. You are such a strong awesome mom. I love how you said HF is filled in your room there, I know he is! Will is most likely sitting on him lap for a little bit, until it's time for him to come back to hug you guys. I was crying when I read this.. Thank you so much for sharing this tough time with all of us. You guys are truly loved by so many!
ReplyDeleteTonight when we were saying our family prayer, we asked to protect and watch over will, then as i went down your children's names.. karson pipped up, and had a worried look..knowing he knew who we were praying for. We all wish you the very best.
I am praying his surgery this afternoon went perfect.. hugs to you..
Andrea Shannon
It is awesome that you are keeping all of this documented so well. Later, when Will is older and driving you crazy, it will be so wonderful to be able look back and read all about what a sweet little boy he was and how special he made you feel! Remembering that will help you get through the tough teen years!;p I'm sure that is why the prophets have encouraged us all to keep a journal. Great work Betsy, you're an example to us all! =) Hugs & Love
ReplyDeleteBetsy you are such a wonderful mother and friend. You are strong and maybe that's where Will gets it from. Will, you are the sweetest boy and we miss playing with you at playgroup. We are anxiously awaiting your return. Hey Olivia and Lance. You are the best big brother and big sister. Will is lucky to have such strong and loving siblings. Dad, great job keeping your family safe and provided for. I'm sure you and Betsy are being a great strength to each other.
ReplyDeleteBetsy~ I have been so emotional all day overcome with with love and worry for you and your sweet baby. I tried to call but I keep missing you -- but like everyone else -- we are praying for you all. I hope today's surgery went as planned. I love hearing you talk of hope since that is a subject so meaningful to us during super hard things. I am glad you are writing both for Will and for the rest of us who wish we could be in the room with you. You know if you said "COME!" I'd be on a plane, right?? :) I'll talk to you soon. I love you, sister!! Truly, Tinah
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for ya'll
ReplyDeleteMatt
Betsy,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have all you need to get through this hard time but I plan to share tidbits from my experience in case it's of use to you. One thing I just thought of was how hard it was for me to see Thomas when his face was so bloated from all the IV fluid. I felt so much fear and hope and love but when I looked at him, I wondered where my boy was. I missed him so deeply. Two suggestions, which you may already by doing:
1. Take pictures of him now. Those images can accompany all the great writing you are doing for Will (and all of you) to look back on.
2. Get pictures of him from before this hospitalization and bring them into the hospital. It brought me joy to have pictures of Thomas in his PICU room and I also wanted to show the doctors and nurses, "See, this is what my little boy really looks like!"
Thinking of you.
LOVE,
Becca (from Zumba)
beccakeen@hotmail.com
P.S. If you haven't already gotten the gift card from the main cafeteria at OHSU, don't forget it's there for you. Probably a friend of family member could pick it up too.