Boredom is a Good Thing

This weekend has been boring. Who would have thought I would be looking for boredom, but I am. It is a welcome sight. This reprieve, I am convinced, is because of all the faith and prayers from your loving friends and family.
The one big thing the nurses and doctors have been dealing with is your "itchiness." You are looking like you have ants in your pants :). They say it is a natural reaction to some of the pain meds you are on. I am sorry. You look terribly uncomfortable. But, in a way it is a relief to see you doing normal little boy things. I would much rather have you be itchy than have no blood pressure. Perspective, right? Our family and, it seems, everyone that knows us has had a huge dose of perspective since you came here. It is amazing the things I don't care about right now. You do know I love having control over things? I thrive on structure and predictability. Don't have much of that right now. But, I don't really care. All those little things that used to get under my skin, slide right off my back. Some days I would get so worked up about whether or not you were sleeping enough. Are you kidding? Today, I just want to see you smile. I am sure when you are all better and home and running around and climbing up on the dining room table or pounding on the keys of this laptop I will probably be worried about your sleep again. But, I hope that through this terrible experience I can come out on the other side with a little more continued perspective. I hope I won't get so worked up if dinner doesn't turn out, or if you won't eat the dinner I cooked for you. I hope I can see my life for what it has to offer and slow down and enjoy it a little more. I don't think I will ever be able to look at you the same again. I think I will forever more see in you hope, faith, and the tender mercies of our Father in Heaven.
I have also, this weekend, been struggling more with feeling down and depressed. The initial adrenaline has worn off. Daddy and I are not constantly at your bedside thinking that your heart might stop or your lungs collapse. Although we are still deeply concerned about your health and recovery, we are finding ourselves with more time to miss our "old" life. We just want you back. And we miss Olivia and Lance. It feels like we are getting past the survival mode and moving into the recovery mode. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You are getting better, but you still have a long way to go. We are here, little man, waiting and praying and trying to do whatever we can to help you. Keep up your hard work. Slow and steady wins the race :).

ILU!