Sacrifice

Still home. Still very grateful to be here. This past week and a half is one huge blur. The days all meld into one and sometimes the minutes even do. Last night I slept for four hours straight. It was the longest stretch I've gotten since being home. Our days are focused on keeping you safe, happy, and healthy. And any extra moments are used up on trying to make up lost moments with Olivia and Lance. But it's all worth it little dude. We love you and just want our William back. And every day we get little pieces back to make it all worth it.
We went back to the hospital for our follow-up appointment yesterday. It was a little disappointing. You have lost weight since leaving the hospital. That's not good. You don't have much to spare and gaining weight is a good indication that you are getting better, getting stronger. The dietitian put you back on a "full-feeds" diet. That means that you get all of your calories from your tube and anything you eat by mouth is a bonus. We will return to the hospital again on Tuesday for another weight check. Then, in two weeks we will meet with the surgeon again and they will hopefully set up an appointment for your final surgery. Your surgeon estimated that would be sometime at the end of February.
I think these past 10 days or so have obviously been a transition for us all. But the transition has been slightly different for each of us. I thought maybe I would give you everyone's perspective about being home.

LANCE
Hey, Willy-wum. I am so glad you are home. Did you know that every prayer I say, even if it is at breakfast, I thank Heavenly Father that you could come home. I am so very happy to have my little brother home. Playing cars and trains is more fun with you, even if I have to share. When you first came home it was kind of hard because you didn't even want me to be close to you. I like hugging you and kissing you and that was kind of a bummer. But, today I leaned over and kissed your hand and you didn't complain! I told Mommy because I was very excited. You must be getting better. I love you and would love to play hide and go seek with you sometime soon. So keep getting better, okay?
OLIVIA
William, I love you. The day you came home from the hospital seemed like Christmas, but even better. When I got off the bus you were waiting on the porch for me. I was so happy, and so excited. The first little while was great. We were all together, at home. But, soon I was sad. I didn't really understand why. But, you were home, and I was sad. Mommy and I had a talk and I realized that I had expected you to come home totally better, but you didn't. You are still really sick. You can't walk. You don't really even crawl much. You have a tube in your nose, a bag on your tummy that is gross to look at because it has poop in it, and a big owie there too. I don't really like seeing that either. It's hard. I love you so much. I love cuddling with you and playing and giving you love. But with all your stuff, it's hard. I think it must be hard for you too, because you don't totally love hugs yet. William, I am glad you are home. I just want you all better. That will be a good day.
DADDY(in Mommy's words :))
This really sucks. I really hoped you would make more progress at home. And I really hoped your last surgery would be sooner. Mommy and I (and you too) are so sick of your ostomy bags leaking and having to be changed, a lot. I love you, little man. It's so hard to see you like this and to have to do things to help you get better, but that you totally hate. I am so grateful for you and your strength and your sweetness. I just pray that I can give you all that you need to help get back to being Will.
MOMMY
I feel like everyone else. Although I knew you wouldn't be all the way better, I thought you would get better pretty fast at home. I couldn't have imagined that it would be this hard at home. But, I also couldn't have imagined how good it would feel to hold you and hug you and kiss you and have you smell like my kid, not like a hospital. The past few days when I get up close to your face with mine you reach out and pat or caress my cheeks. It melts my heart. In order to appreciate the good, we have to see the bad, right? Oh, and the good is so good! It's totally worth it. Sacrifice. I think as human beings sacrifice is critical. We grow to love more deeply the one's we sacrifice for. Through sacrifice we learn that we are capable of so much more than we thought possible. I never thought I could love you more and I never thought our family was capable of doing these hard things. But, I do love you more, and we did do hard things.

Fatten up, little light-weight!