Little Wonder

There definitely was an advantage to writing every day. Since we have been home, I have only been writing weekly. . .if that. As I sit here tonight and think about what to write it is all one big blur. But a good blur.
You are making a ton of progress. This past week you went to your first physical therapy appointment. It was really good. I think being in a different environment with a ton of really cool toys was highly motivating for you. Before we went you had only walked a few steps on your own, but at PT you walked a lot. After evaluating you, the physical therapist said developmentally your gross motor skills are at about a 14 month old. But he was pretty confident that all you need is to build back your strength and you will catch up. And sure enough the rest of the week you have made huge progress. I stopped helping you do everything and tried to let you do it on your own. We went to the park two days this week and you walked the whole time we were there. And ever since you have been walking everywhere. You walk like a little old man, moaning and grunting often, but you're walking.
As a whole, everything is getting better and easier. Your strength, your weight, dealing with your ostomy bag, going places on your feeding tube, sleeping. It has become our new way of life. Still, we are very anxious to have your last surgery out of the way. We should hopefully get that scheduled on Wednesday. But, our William is back. The twinkle in your eye, your laugh, even your complaints when you don't get what you want. You are getting into the dishwasher again and messing around with the computer and home entertainment electronics. I love it (but it drives your daddy nuts)!!! Well, sometimes I have to remind myself that I love it.
You are constantly being showered with love from everyone in this house. We kiss you and touch you and hug you just about every chance we get. Part of me hopes you aren't getting spoiled and part of me doesn't care. We have our little William. We almost lost you too many times. And for now, I just want to make up for those lost moments in the hospital when I so desperately wanted to hold you and kiss you and when I so desperately wanted you to respond. None of us are the same and we never will be. Our little family is different. But we are better. We are closer. We are more grateful. Our eyes have been opened to struggles we couldn't have ever imagined. And we survived. Thanks to all of the support from family and friends and our knowledge of a God that loves us and is always mindful of us.
Thank you, little man. I look at you and see so much. I see pain, suffering, anguish, and heartache. But I see a light shining through all of that. A light that overpowers the darkness. A light that will forever remind me of "these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate." You are my little wonder! I love you.