New Groove

Been home for over two weeks. It really feels like bringing home your first baby from the hospital. A lot of transition. A lot of sleepless nights. A lot of melt downs. But, sure enough, everything gradually evens out and you get into your new groove. We are getting there. We went to the store today and it was pretty normal. I don't ever really stop thinking about the fact that everyone is wondering why you have a tube up your nose. But, no one says anything. I don't think it would bother me though. I know people are curious. I would be. I don't think there is any harm in asking. But that is me. I know other people in this same situation would be mortified to be asked. I guess you never know unless you ask.
We went back to the hospital yesterday for a weight check. You gained a pound and a half in the past week. Way to go, little dude! Since our visit last week you have been fed entirely through your tube. I am giving you a formula that is very broken down and easy to process and filled with all the nourishment you need. I could see a difference in you within the first 24 hours of having you on "full feeds." You had more energy, were happier, and just seemed better. Throughout the week your face even filled out a little and your eyes got a little more sparkly. So, the dietitian said you needed to stay on the same diet for the next two weeks. At that time, we will go back for another visit and hopefully schedule your next operation. It's good to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is good to be moving towards that light. It is unexplainable how much joy it gives me to see you "coming back."
You are even trying to walk a little. You are like a toddler who is first trying to walk. You cruise along the couch and then try to take a step without support and then crumble to the floor. You crawl everywhere and play and laugh and do regular little boy things.
Progress, lots of progress. It feels so good. As we were driving to the store today I was caught up in a swell of unexpected emotion. I realized, with a surety, how completely content I am. It may sound crazy at a time like this, but it's how I feel. I feel like a different or changed person from before all this. I don't care about so many of the things that used to keep me from feeling settled or happy. I can see clearly what is really important to me and I have all those things. People in my life that love me and that I love, health, a comfortable, loving home, my faith. All the other little petty things seem crazy to me now. A weight has been lifted. I can now see my life for what it truly is. I see all the good and recognize that the bad really isn't all that bad, just silly. So, thank you little man. Thank you for being my little man. Thank you for being so strong and valiant and brave. Thank you for helping your mother to learn a few important things about life.
Keep moving forward. We are all behind you, cheering you along!!!